I have a friend who has struggled with the concept of belief for a long time. She wants to believe in God, but just can’t seem to own it. She will sometimes see Him work in her life, but then immediately discounts it as wishful thinking. She hears His messages, but doesn’t seem to be able to keep it as faith. I have wondered if maybe her definition of believing is actually incorrect. Is it that she thinks belief means a surety and conviction that God is real, without doubt? Is it that she thinks that belief means seeing God in everything and never feeling lost? I think that sometimes when we struggle with our failures in faith, it is because we don’t understand what faith really means.
It is not “knowing”. He is ultimately unknowable. It is not “feeling”, because we are incapable of feeling enough. It is faith. It is a trust that He is there whether or not we acknowledge or appreciate Him. It is knowing that He is seeking us, even when we aren’t seeking Him. Just the fact that we are looking for God says something. We would never look for something we didn’t think we could find. Sometimes, that is belief enough.