How many people have been truly converted to Christianity, or any religion for that matter, because they were berated for how horrible they were? Even if someone is really doing something wrong, they way to convince them to change is rarely to tell them that they are an awful person.
I heard a couple stories recently that reminded me how to break through some of these walls. I was reminded of the woman who met Jesus at the well. He didn’t immediately accuse her of her many failings, having had 5 husbands and being the moral outcast of the town. Instead, He asked her for a drink of water, offered her more than she could possibly give, and then told her what she was doing. Jesus didn’t say this to berate her, but to show the He knew who she was all along. Even with that, He knew that she hungered for more, and He was willing to give it to her. Yes, her life would change, but it was a change she could hardly wait to accept.
This is the kind of witness we are to provide. It is not one of condemnation and judgment, but one of understanding and invitation. It doesn’t mean that everything is okay. It does mean that everything can be healed if we just come to the well.