“The joy of the Lord is my strength.”
I’ve never heard this like I did a couple days ago. I have been battling a health issue for the last few months. Delays in getting into doctors, long waits to see if something works, no energy, feeling horrible, not sure what is going on, dealing with anxiety, and by the way, my daughter has been struggling, too.
At one point, I had a friend who would ask me how I was doing, and week after week, I would have to tell her, “Not well.”
Then one week, I realized that even with all of this going on, even with all of this uncertainty and lack of help, God was everywhere in it. He was giving me perfectly placed friends who showed up at just the right time with an encouraging word and actually helpful advice. He was helping me grow in understanding of blessing in illness and suffering. He was developing my understanding of the cross. He was giving me the time and energy to do what I needed to do for my work and my family, albeit just barely enough time and energy.
When she asked how I was doing the next week, I was able to say, “Great. Even though I don’t feel any better, I know that God is here. I see Him, I feel Him, and I know that He is present and working in me. So, as much as I hate feeling the way I am feeling, I am grateful and blessed.”
This is the joy of the Lord. This is the only way I have been able to get through in the way that I have. This is where I have gotten the strength to continue through this in a way that allows me to say that I am great. This is where I go when I just don’t want to carry it anymore. The joy of the Lord is my strength. And for that, I am incredibly grateful.
(Side note: things are improving, and thanks to Our Lady Undoer of Knots, there are lots of knots that have been undone the last few days. God is good.)