My husband and I started dating in high school and continued through college. Unfortunately, we were at different colleges that were 700 miles apart. Not nearly close enough for even a weekend visit more than once a semester.
All this in the time before email, cell phones, and Google Hangouts.
I hated the end of any visit that we had. The day would start with most of my attention focused on the time when we had to leave. I hated the distance between us and knowing that it wouldn’t change for another couple years. Even when we lived in the same town and got married, the shadow of this distance loomed over us. It took me months to stop waiting for the time he had to leave for the airport. I treasured every moment with him, and hated to give even one of them up.
I thought of this recently as I thought about my relationship with Jesus. The closer I get to Him, the more I hate anything that separates us. I hate when I turn away even for a short time. I hate when I fall and fail in my trust in His plan for me. Not because I’m afraid that I will be punished for it. Not because I think that He will love me less for it. He never would.
I hate it because every time I do, I move away from this love that I have found. I turn from this grace that is so deep that I happily drown in it.
But God is so good, and He won’t let me forget. He gives me this heart that desires to turn to Him. He allows this pain and sorrow to help me see the strength of my love.
I knew after four years, that I hated to leave my future husband because I loved him enough to marry him. I know every time I turn away, that I hate to do it because I love my Savior enough to give Him my life.
So I turn back and give it again.